Friday, March 2, 2007

Blog entry five months from now: World War Hulk, I HATE YOU SO MUCH

-Few more hours remaining on the current Hate Poll.

-We all know what this means, right? Sigh. From the same blog, agreement with me about an apparently divisive issue.

-Michael Kupperman produced this reaction to the NYCC, which has to be the most straightforward comic he's ever made. Maybe he assumed the grotesque spectacle of a major con didn't really need further embellishment. In any event, he's reminding me why I don't go to comics conventions. I used to get dizzy walking down the midway of the county fair, and you could actually move without shoving people there. (Link via Chris Mautner)

-Reminder re: the Bloody Shirt thing: I said everyone had another week, so no need for flouting (or flaunting, for that matter). In fact, there's no flouting to be done...yet. I'm looking at you, Dirk Deppey. To be honest, I wasn't aware that Frontline #11 hadn't come out until this week, so I suppose an additional week worth of hand-wringing is sort of justified. Maybe even another week--no, I must be firm. And I like the Bloody Shirt joke too much to give it up.

Here's a challenge for all my fellow bloggers. As best I can tell, one of the major motivations behind all the Civil War moaning is to counteract the massive hype that preceded it on the big news sites. The problem is, this was all done ex post facto--the word was already out by the time our little outrage mill was running. Clever bloggers share talking points with the guy who thinks Alex Ross is the greatest artist of all time. While you're all bemoaning the anti-climatic ending, Joe Quesada is doing the backstroke in a swimming pool filled with money. That's right--Joe Quesada is imitating Scrooge McDuck, yet he doesn't have any idea who Carl Barks is.

Doesn't that make your blood boil? If so, don't go make another post about how lame Civil War is. Instead, focus your attention on the next big dumb event--either World War Hulk or Countdown. The latter is going to be an nigh-interminable grind, so I expect you all to lose interest in it within a few months (hopefully with the exception of Douglas Wolk and anyone who manages to consistently review comics week after week). But World War Hulk will be much shorter, and looks like a much more egregious cash grab (what with the three spinoffs which will accompany it). Ooh, your blood pressure's rising already. What are you going to do about it?

How about launching an all-out war against it before it comes out, when your words might actually have some impact? In fact, you might want to start now, considering that Marvel is more concerned with DM orders than sell-through. There are a few samples of the art floating around--why not Photoshop some comedy-like substance into them? Speculate on what the comic is about, and write long invectives against it NOW. I'll even put up an anti-Greg Pak poll once the ball starts rolling. Or you could wait until it's actually out and impotently rage against it then. The choice is yours.

(For the record, I think Quesada probably does know who Carl Barks is. It's just a rhetorical flourish.)

-Somebody's criticizing beloved comics artists! Circle the wagons! I want to see someone challenging this guy to a duel by the end of the day.


Benjamin Birdie said...


Yes. SOMEONE needs to do something on the internet about how fundamentally silly World War Hulk is.

Dick Hyacinth said...

Your latest comic is like a gentle noogie, or perhaps a purple nurple, compared to the nuclear devestation Civil War caused. If you're really serious about this shit, someone needs to DIE in a GRUESOME WAY. That way it can double as a commentary on Geoff Johns.

Dan Coyle said...

I dunno, World War Hulk isn't being pitched as a Great Social Commentary and/or Something That Will Change Everything Forever, is it? So perhaps they won't be all het up about it.

It helps that the main writer orchestrating it, Greg Pak, is actually well liked, and has a pretty mellow public persona. And he and his artist have never missed a major deadline.

I'm looking forward to Gamma Corps at any rate.

Shane Bailey said...

If we do that, then bloggers will be criticized for "not giving the book a chance" and "panning it before we read it", etc.

Steve Pheley said...

What Shane said.

If you say, "World War Hulk is probably going to suck," people say you're judging before you read.

If you keep on banging the drum about Civil War after the fact, well, it's kind of stupid and annoying, but in theory it MIGHT also cause somebody to go, "Yeah, these events sure do tend to flop. Maybe I shouldn't hop on board for the next one."

Dick Hyacinth said...

That's not a very productive attitude. In fact, I'm shocked so many of you are giving the next Marvel event any chance at all. Are we bloggers or are we consumerist sheep?

If it makes you feel better, you can consider this pre-emptive strike something more like "placing the seed of doubt." And there's no need to keep banging the drum on Civil War--that's still going on in the bigger forums, as best I can tell. But nobody's talking about how bad WWH is going to be...yet!

Dick Hyacinth said...

Oh, okay, here are some other options:

-Don't say anything about it at all, ever. This is kind of a prisoner's dilemma thing, so this approach would depend upon a strong blogunal spirit.

-Plant false and malicious rumors about it in various fora. Say that Greg Pak is just a pen name for Chuck Austen, Romita is trying to win a bet that he can draw the whole thing in 72 hours, etc.

-Offer it effusive praise, ad nauseam--your readers will be so disgusted that they won't even want to look at the thing when it comes out.

-Ignore the avalanche of hype and greet it as you would any other Marvel/DC comic of its quality, rather than treating it as the lynchpin of human civilization.

Guy LeCharles Gonzalez said...

-Don't say anything about it at all, ever.

If only. But then, you'd have no one to blog about!

I'm actually cautiously looking forward to World War Hulk because I've enjoyed Pak's Planet Hulk; first time I've ever been into the Green Goliath.

Really, though, if more people focused on blogging about the comics they enjoy instead of focusing on the ones they hate, the blogiverse would be a more pleasant place.

Of course, again, then you'd have no one to blog about! ;-)

Dick Hyacinth said...

Hey, I just posted a totally non-hateful thing just a few seconds ago. Which, granted, no one would be reading if I weren't so hateful most of the time.

Greg said...

Hey, I tried. No one listened.

Guy LeCharles Gonzalez said...

It's all about balance.

Dick Hyacinth said...

Holy Christ, Greg, thanks for posting that. The funniest thing, I thought, was this:

"I will also be very interested to see if "both sides of the story" get told with equal vigor and fairness - I'm betting those who want to register superheroes will be portrayed as the villains automatically, because this is so obviously a commentary on Bush's America (which is why a Scotsman is eminently qualified to write it, of course) that I expect each issue to begin with Thor smashing Mjolnir wrapped in the Patriot Act over the head of a reader. How tiresome - registering superheroes is bad! Freedom is good! Thanks, Joey Q and Mark Millar, for the insight."

That's not exactly what the message was, but it's what a lot of bloggers be saying. This blows my mind. The things you were saying to mock Millar and Quesada are the things certain bloggers are saying now, apparently without irony, almost a year later. Holy shit.

Mark Fossen said...

Attacking things that aren't even published yet is one of the things that gets the blogosphere so easily dismissed. Slagging on books yet to be written doesn't help anyone look rational. That's how fanboys rampage, y'know?

If you feel that strongly, don't help the buzz machine along with any more posts spent on it. When you're tempted to go off on DiDio/Queasda ... just write something about Three Rivers or Mouse Guard. They could put those dead pixels to good use.

Maybe WWH will be the next Watchmen. I seriously fucking doubt it ... but if I could predict the future 100%, I'd have a bigger pool than DaQ's.

Dick Hyacinth said...

Mr. Fossen, could I direct your attention to comment #6, which is more (about half, really) indicative of my thoughts on this matter? I should note, however, that I see nothing wrong with attacking the hype, which is distinct from the work itself (much to the dismay of many, it seems).

Lisa said...

When I attended the retailer conference hosted by Diamond after the Baltimore Comic-Con last year Marvel's rep bragged about how World War Hulk would NOT be a crossover event. Instead it would be in the regular Hulk series only.

Now, I see they're doing a crossover. Maybe this is the only way Marvel can think of to show people that the 606 is in continuity and an event in one comic book can exact change in another comic book. Nahhh... they just want to sell more comics.

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