Sunday, February 25, 2007

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP...please?

-Okay. I have no authority, moral or legal, to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't blog about, so consider this a heartfelt plea. Please, my friends, let us stop talking about Civil War, right now. I think 90% of the blogs I read (and I try to read a lot of them) have had something or another to say about it, even if it all was basically a variation of "it sucked, and here's why." Which is perfectly fine. We all knew that it was going to suck at some point prior to the release of #7, but the incredible hype/hubris machine at Marvel all but guaranteed that everyone would vent their spleens. And we've all done that now. Right?

So, please, I beseech you--no more long rants about Captain America's civil rights as a superhero. No more ironic "I'm with ______" banners. No more musings on Iron Man's Machiavellian tendencies. No more attempts to pinpoint the exact moment that things went wrong. And for the love of god, NO MORE "REMIXES." EVER. The first funny "remix" I read will be the first.

I'm not calling for a moratorium on all Civil War talk, just a moratorium on new blog entries (or message board threads or web site articles or whatever) specifically dealing with Civil War, at least until I can once again associate those words with gruesome battlefield surgery rather than Bill Foster's giant grave. (Exceptions: I would love to read a review of the entire series, or even just the last issue, by someone like Tom Spurgeon, or anyone who doesn't normally review or comment on Marvel/DC. Also, I'm always interested in any article written from the retailer's perspective, so that would be pretty cool, too.)

Cheer up, friends. This weekend DC and Marvel were kind enough to restock the cupboard with all sorts of fresh stupidity. Have you seen the new Thor? How about those teaser images for Countdown? We've hardly scratched the surface here. 2007 will be a great year for telling that clod Joe Quesada how he's running Marvel into the ground. Likewise, we will have many an opportunity to tell Dan Didio and his stupid mustache to go suck it. Don't kill yourselves in Februrary, stumbling over each other to make the same tired jokes--you'll need the energy to mock Planet Hulk in June.

PS: I reserve the right to talk about Mark Millar later today when the poll ends.

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