Saturday, April 7, 2007

Why not try dissecting Marc Silvestri for a change?

-Was this post, in which Kevin Church recounts his struggles with a fellow named Steve Ebbing, really necessary? There's no doubt that this Ebbing dude is kind of sort of really obsessed --he's materialized in the comments here practically every time I've mentioned Church. But every time Ebbing has left a comment, Church has felt compelled to leave a rebuttal. It's almost like he's rewarding him with attention.

Look, this guy isn't even a good troll. It's "UR a ghey homo LOL!!!1" type comments, or vague "u suk" stuff. Church and his defender-commenters have made it abundantly clear that he's heterosexual, so why would he be bugged by this stuff? I mean, maybe Ebbing has crossed the line into outright stalking by invading Church's personal life. If so, that's clearly a matter for the police. If not, I think the old axiom "don't feed the trolls" is appropriate here if Church wants the harassment to stop. As it stands, to an outsider lacking any strong feelings re: Church, the whole thing reads more like a rallying cry to his fans than a denunciation of Ebbing. In fact, I think the latter, regardless of the author's intentions, automatically becomes the former.

(BTW, Mr. Church, I can't help but notice you still haven't responded to my offer to moderate your board. Since nobody's talking about said board in any blogs I read, I have to assume that it lacks excitement and intrigue. I can deliver these things, and in a far more sophisticated and genteel manner than Mr. Ebbing. However, your hesitance to respond has forced me to increase the asking price. In addition to an MMA sub-forum (which I will moderate exclusively, and which will only be accessible to those whom I deem fit), I also will need a vegetarian cooking sub-forum. I'll be a bit more lenient here--anyone can post in this forum so long as they acknowledge my moral superiority as a vegetarian. Again, this offer will not be on the table forever. Let me know ASAP.)

-From Chris Mautner's brief obituary for Johnny Hart:

"Hart was part of a generation of cartoonists that included folks Charles Schulz, Mort Walker, Hank Ketcham who, in the 1950s, signaled a movement away from adventure strips like 'Terry and the Pirates' or soap-oprea works like 'Mary Worth,' and more on witty, gag-based strips drawn in a minimal, iconic style."

Wow, I know it's not Mr. Mautner's intention, but that's like the most concisely damning indictment of Schulz I've ever read.

-My grandmother had (possibly still has) this cake pan. As is probably evident from the picture, it was a single mold with two different sets of plastic parts which were laid on top of the cake. In other words, Grandma would bake the cake, frost it either in Batman or Superman colors (always the former if it was my birthday), and then place the appropriate hero's face and insignia on the frosted cake. She also had similar Scooby-Doo and Cookie Monster molds. Man, I do a lot of cooking, but I've never even attempted to bake a cake, much less apply frosting in multiple colors. Is cake-baking a dying domestic art, or am I just lazy? Or both?

-Via Graeme McMillan, chumps mock Rob Liefeld. FOR 15 PAGES (SO FAR). Really now, attacking Liefeld has been done to death. It's been 15 YEARS since R. Fiore established the model for ragging on Liefeld, and nobody's improved upon it since then. In fact, these message board denizens (and the occasional lazy blogger) are to Fiore what Liefeld is to George Perez. Think about it.

-Joe Rice refuses to dismiss the chances of John August writing a good screenplay for Shazam, but he does slam his list of "good" Captain Marvel comics. As well he should, I might add. But what I noticed was this:

"DC publishes hardcover anthologies that gather up decades’ worth of Captain Marvel comics. If I were writing a dissertation on the evolution of the Captain Marvel character, these would be invaluable. But I’m not. So every time I read one of these, I’m struck with the same realization I encounter trying to watch The Honeymooners or a black-and-white movie: Wow. Old things suck.

Yes, I know that will piss off the vintage comics fans, who insist that the original incarnations are the purest forms of a character. But what you quickly realize is that old-time comic books were awkwardly written, crudely drawn, and bewilderingly inconsistent with their rules. They were making up the art form as they went along, and today’s comic books are better for the accumulated wisdom."

That settles it. This guy is a hack, and probably not a very smart one. Like Mr. Rice, I don't have any particular attachment to the Shazam family of characters--I've always thought their semi-self-contained mythos was kind of neat, but nothing more than that. But Christ, if you're pushing 40 and prefer Winick and Johns to the original comics, you probably are the right man to write those Charlie's Angels movies. Really though, I strongly suspect that August has never actually read any of the archival Captain Marvel collections.

-More stuff later today, probably.


Kevin Church said...

I'd respond to you, but it'd involve discussing Ebbling some more, and that post was intended to be the final statement on the matter.

You can make have your own forum. That would probably be a better solution, as I plan to keep a death-grip on my own.

Dick Hyacinth said...

Don't make me raise my asking price (next increment: a folder devoted to pictures of my cats).

Chris Mautner said...

Man, I knew I was going to regret writing that sentence, but I wanted to say something other than "He was a right-wing Christian nut-job." I probably should have put a wee bit more thought into it though.

Dan Coyle said...

Wes C. Addle, WHERE ARE YOU???

Dick Hyacinth said...

Dan, I have no idea what you're talking about here. Google suggests that maybe you're implying that Eddie Vedder is a notorious internet troll?
That doesn't sound right, somehow.

BTW, are you serious about fighting Mark Waid? I think we could make some money here.

Joe Rice said...

Honestly, if I have an attachment to any fictional characters (other than made up girlfriends in junior high) it would be the Marvels. And I've passed it on to my kids. So you might eventually see me freak out in ways I'd normally make fun of over this movie. I'm just warning you.

Guy LeCharles Gonzalez said...

I missed most of the 90s, so my first look at Mark Silvestri's work was in that rip-off Initiative brochure a couple of weeks back. Actually made me appreciate David Finch...

Dan Coyle said...

Dick: Wes C. Addle was my very own stalker back on the halcyon days of Fanboy Rampage. Once I explained to Graeme who exactly in "West Seattle" has a problem with me, he mysteriously disappeared.

I don't think the person in Seattle actually did it, it was probably a friend of his. Mr. Actually Lives In Seattle and I buried the hatchet with long ago.

As for Mr. Waid, I think the more important question is: Is Mark Waid serious about fighting me?

Anonymous said...

Just sent this to Kevin's comments.
He'll probably delete it:

"Steve, it's lovely to see that you think of me, but I've told you a thousand times that it's over.
Kevin Church | Email | Homepage | 04.01.07 - 2:12 pm |"

I knew I could get you to crack, Baby Huey, you must love the adulation your "friends" are giving you.

I win.


I love your blog, Dick but take offense that my criticism of Kevin was lame, he only showed the ones he wanted to, not the really good ones.
Mister high and mighty shows that everyone has a boiling point.
And I found his.

I win,

Jeff Rients said...


Uhhh, you win what, exactly? You exposed to the entire internet that Kevin has insecurities and dislikes being harped upon. See Also: ever other human being I've ever met. You got him to complain about you on his blog. Show me a blog where someone isn't complaining about something. Please.

If there is a mighty and virtuous task we should be praising you for, I just ain't seeing it.

Matt Brady said...

I think Kevin's interest in Ebbling is interesting, because I would also wonder what makes a person obsess about you? I'm not famous enough to have somebody tell me I suck (although that day will probably come), so to have somebody following you around and making bizarre comments about you must be weird. Of course, as Kevin begins to become more well-known due to his writing, more weirdos will probably crawl out of the woodwork. Ebbling just has the distinction of being the first.

As for the Shazam thing, I don't really care about Captain Marvel, but I'm pissed at writer-guy (whatever his name is) for saying that all old things suck. Specifically the Honeymooners (come on man, Art Carney!) and black and white movies. I mean, how many GREAT movies are black and white? What an asshole.

James Meeley said...

Show me a blog where someone isn't complaining about something. Please.

Okay, Jeff, your wish is granted:

Enjoy. :)

Jeff Rients said...

That's a cute little blog right there. Thanks, james!

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