Thursday, April 19, 2007

Anyone have a cheap video card for sale?

-So here's my new theory for Marvel and DC: since there's a vocal segment of their readerships who have no interest whatsoever in art, why not start a line of horrible, faux pulp novels for these readers? Let Fabian Nicieza write his Thunderbolts For Advanced Continuity Fetishists (or the solo adventures of Baron Zemo, whatever), Peter David his Hulk Hate Stupid Therapy, Dan Slott his I Can't Believe It's Not Marvel Two-in-One, etc., in this format. You might say these would be pretty terrible books, but they were pretty terrible comic books too. The advantage to the Terrible Book plan is that DC/Marvel wouldn't have to pay for artists, plus impatient fans wouldn't have to worry about stupid artists holding up their monthly fix with blown deadlines. (Yes, I'm reasonably certain that any of these writers squeeze out a 250 page novel every month; it's the artists who have screwed everything up, after all.) It's a win-win situation! DiDio, what are you waiting for? This might save your career! Quesada, maybe this is what you need to do in order to get in these particular fanboys' good graces (which is, after all, the most important single concern facing the editor-in-chief of the largest comics company in America). If you choose to use this idea, I'll take my usual consulting fee.

-Via Flog, a great Richard Sala interview:

"I know it makes me seem a hundred years old to say that, but when I was little, Dick Tracy was on the front page of the Sunday comic section (in Chicago) and I got hooked at a very early age. It was the first thing I ever saved -- I cut out strips and put them in scrapbooks -- even before I began saving comic books. The Tracy strips from the 1960s and 1970s seem to get a bad rap sometimes compared to his earlier work -- but I was perfectly happy with them -- they were crazy and lurid. They had stopped being like police procedurals and instead were about -- well, to this day I'm not sure what those later strips were about! Good and evil maybe? Who knows? But you really never knew what would happen next. They could certainly never be in daily newspapers today -- not just because of the violence (which was gloriously over-the-top) but because in its twilight years it often appeared to flirt with becoming seriously unhinged."

I can't remember if I'd heard Sala talk about his Gould influence before, or if it just makes perfect sense in hindsight. I'm immediately reminded of the rogue's galleries in the back of the collected Chuckling Whatsit. Anyway, Sala also makes some good points about the difficulty in classifying his work. I can't help but think it would do well with fans of Jhonen Vasquez, but somehow I just can't see Delphine being sold at Hot Topic.

-Will Bahlactus (sadly not his real name) ever explain to us the process by which he determines whether calling someone a "chickenhead" is appropriate? I've asked ever so nicely. Please let us know, cause it doesn't seem any better than calling someone a "cocksucker," which is something I generally avoid for reasons I'll describe in detail if anyone is interested (though, truthfully, it's nothing particularly revelatory).

-I always knew the Asorbascon (NIM) wasn't written for people like me, but I really didn't know just how not-for-me it was until I read this (or, to be more accurate, the first and last five lines of it). What the fuck was that about? More importantly, when are we going to get another hissy fit? That's the only reason you're on my Google Reader thing, dude.

-Kind of interesting, at least to me. Bear in mind that my brother and I used to buy and read old issues of Marvel Age and that, instead of writing and drawing comics like most kids, I made my own mock versions of MA for my imaginary comics company.


The Mutt said...

What da fug is a Chickenhead?

Dick Hyacinth said...

Someone who performs oral sex on a man.

Julio said...

Well, I think since Scipio is moderating his comments so he only have to read praises, most of the people that would tell that he is pathetic don't have a place to do so (and to do it in other, less read, blogs is both useless and sad). I mean, he is like John Byrne: offensive in "kids, get out of my lawn" way but at the same time uncapable of raising from his rocking chair.

On other note: I was really dissapointed you nipped that flame war on the previous post on the bud. I was thinking that a blog that contain the word hate on the title would encorage people barking at each other, if for nothing else, to have extra things to talk about.

Duncan said...

The pulp novels thing is probably the best idea anyone has ever had about superhero comics.

My own, now entirely subsidiary, idea was that the big two release annual, or biannual whatever, continuity updates for these same people.